Synaxis TV

• Worked on bio paper
  • I shook myself awake and started working on my bio paper. At times I wasn’t sure if I would finish it, but I made it. And I felt like it was a good paper. It’s becoming a little easier to write.
• Japanese homework/studying
  • I went to campus to print out a copy of my paper and did some brief homework and studying before class.
• Japanese
• Anthro classes
  • In prehistory we talked some about power. Rotman brought up the fact that everyone always has some power. George said that this was true and that people can only be pushed so far. I cringed a bit inside and said what about slavery? What about the holocaust? How far does someone have to be pushed? I also said that some can take it the wrong way in hearing that everyone has some power, because what we are concerned with is the imbalance of power. Rotman nodded in agreement and said that that was what she was trying to elicit.
  • In bio we talked some about anecdotes and just what the Boeschs should have done with this kind of information. We also talked about elephant funerals.
  • In theory Blanton told us what we all got wrong on the papers and then Sabrina gave an interesting presentation on Boas.
• Señorita Extraviada
  • I was pretty bored and looking for things to do. I thought about watching the debates with the Democratic group on campus, but I figured I’d watch some of this program on the women disappearing in Juarez first. Mike, Jennifer, and Aaron were there though and they started a bit late. They also had food. So I ended up staying for the whole thing. It was a pretty scary program with few answers. Nobody was doing anything so…
• Recalled book in UNGR
  • I went to the undergraduate library and picked up a book by Helen Fisher that I had recalled on love. I came across it looking up information on bipedalism.
• Periodicals in HSSE
  • From there I went to the periodicals in HSSE and browsed around. Interestingly enough, the last issue of American Anthropologist is on neo-Boasian approaches. I was drawn to it by an article about Boas and Foucault.
• Playboy in UNGR
  • On a lark, I decided to look and see if the libraries held issues of Playboy, and they did. I looked at it in the middle of the library, but I couldn’t tell if anyone noticed. They did notice though when I carried it to the copy machine for this interesting cartoon I found (below). There was also an interesting article with lots of naked Raelians. Apparently they are pretty sexually liberated. The main part of the issue though was the women of the ACC. For some reason I thought the Duke women looked best.

• Chimp reading
• Japanese homework
• Chimp reading
• Japanese
• Sat with Beth and Lorrell in HTM Cafe
  • Beth and Lorrell commented on people’s clothing as usual. Beth didn’t know who Kinsey was either. I thought I could clue them in by bringing up the whole “10% of the population is gay” thing and saying that that was based on Kinsey’s work, but they had never heard of that. Surreal.
• Nap
  • I tried to read, but I was really tired, so I took a nap in the department lounge.
• Chimp reading
• Reserve
  • After I finished reading I went to the reserves to get a copy of the prehistory articles. Only one was available.
• Villa Pizza
  • I went and got some unhealthy pizza and ate while reading.
• Reserve
  • On the way back I stopped at the reserves again and made a copy of the other article.
• Prehistory homework
  • In the lab I finished up my prehistory homework.
• Bio paper
  • I was trying to scrape as much life out of the day as possible. I ended up writing a brief outline, but that was good enough. Lorrell gave me a ride home.

• Finished up paper
  • I went to school and finished up my paper. It was a little short so I added a paragraph. Still felt like something was missing though.
• Japanese homework
• Chimp readings
• Japanese
• Anthro classes
  • In prehistory we talked a lot about the differences between intentionality and unintended consequences.
  • In bio we talked a bit about how the investigators presence influenced the outcome of their study. That nebulous question.
  • In theory we talked more about Boas. One of the interesting things that came up was that Boas didn’t think anything should be prioritized. Instead there was this idea that by virtue of its existence a culture is worthy of study because humans have produced it.
• Quick dinner/chat with Jacqui
  • I went home briefly to have a salad and a baked potato on the way back to campus. I talked to Jacqui on the way and back too. She told me how school was getting to her, mainly because of the quizzes she has to take every class.
• Date rape presentation
  • I met up with Liz from the Exponent and we attended this date rape presentation on campus. The focus was on date rape when one of the parties is drunk.
• Exponent
  • After the presentation we went back to the Exponent and I wrote up the story. Liz said that it was really good and Sarah said I had written it pretty quickly.
• Vienna
  • After finishing the story I went to Vienna and tried to do some reading. I was pretty tired though so I went home and got some sleep.

• Japanese homework
  • I had another nightmare, so I woke up a little earlier than planned and did some Japanese homework. Mainly updating this skit.
• Met up with Katja and Margaret at Stone
  • We gathered around 9:30 and got on our way to Bloomington. When we met up Margaret asked if I could drive. Not a good sign since I had planned on reading and working on a paper due the next day while we were on the road.
• Picked up Myrdene’s car at the garage
  • Myrdene’s father left her a big blue Buick. Margaret drove it from the garage to a gas station. I haven’t been that scared in my life. Margaret, who is from Germany and apparently only used to stick shifts, said, “It moves by itself!” After the gas station, I ended up driving the rest of the day.
• Wal-Mart
  • Margaret wanted some water but she didn’t want to stop at a gas station because “they are ugly.” So we stopped at Wal-Mart instead. More time wasted. Katja did show me an interesting book on the Passion of the Christ though.
• Oliver Winery
  • We went to the Oliver Winery in Bloomington to restock Myrdene’s wine stash. I tasted some Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonel, Riesling, and some Maximum Port. I liked the dry wines better than the sweet semi-dry Riesling which was surprising. I liked the port so much though that I went ahead and bought a bottle. Since we were buying so many bottles we got a 30% discount.
• Indiana University – Sociology Department
  • After the winery we stopped at the university for a bit so Margaret could chat with some folks in the sociology department.
• Crows Nest with Chris
  • We went to have a bite to eat downtown at the Crows Nest. My friend Chris met up with us there. It was pretty cool for him to talk to Margaret and Katja about Europe because of the EU thing he did over the summer.
• Kinsey Institute
  • Chris drove us to campus to make it to the institute in time before they closed. But you couldn’t browse their collection anyway, so it wasn’t of much use. We just looked at what they had available in the lobby for a while. I thought it best not to waste time so I focused on the porn they had. I took a look at Penthouse Forum first. There was an interesting article, similar to one I read in Skin 2, about the mainstreaming of BDSM. I then took a look at Hustler’s Taboo, which seems to be their BDSM publication. There was a pictorial with a very interesting device I haven’t seen before. Bars between two big sheets of plastic used to position someone inside.
• Campus Tour
  • After the few minutes at the institute (which is actually why I had decided to come to Bloomington with Katja) we took a tour of the campus. Nice, but something I could do whenever, like when I actually had time.
• Indianapolis
  • We had taken a back way to Bloomington on the way there. On the way back though Margaret wanted to go through Indianapolis, which was fine, since it was the shorter way anyway. She wanted to stop and look around though. I went on the loop and said, “Oh, I thought we’d see more of the city from here, oh well.” But she was insistent. So I took a random turn, then she woke up Katja, and we stopped downtown for a drink. I got a root beer float and worked on my paper. At least the monuments were nice. And Margaret paid for us.
• Dead battery
  Well, it seems I forgot the lights on when we parked. So the car wouldn’t start. There were some cables in the back so it was just an issue of getting someone to give us a jump. The area where we were parked had to be vacated by 9 PM, which was only minutes away, so I knew that someone would come by soon enough. Margaret kept on telling us to call a taxi over and over again, but we knew they wouldn’t help us. Katja got someone to give us a jump, but it didn’t work. Luckily, this other guy who I had asked for help was able to jump us. He was a little pissed off when he drove up and that other woman was there, especially since he was in the middle of doing his job as a valet. I thanked him for his help and gave him $5.
  • We talked about Janet Jackson’s boob on the way back. Margaret didn’t understand why our country made such a big deal out of it. I did try to point out that it was a family event of sorts.
• Vienna
  • After we got home I went to Vienna and worked on my paper. It felt like it was missing something, but I got it done.

• Nightmares
  • I had a lot of crazy dreams. In one Sandy told me she made Laura leave the house because she was making out with her boyfriend in her room. In another Laura introduced me to her new black boyfriend. Then in one she was explaining to me again why she didn’t want to be with me. Then there was another where she was telling me about this guy that she was interested in.
  • Me: Brain. Brain: Yes? Me: F U. Brain: Muhahahaha…
• Chimpanzees
  • I tried to read but I kept getting distracted.
• Breakdown
  • Things got out of hand for some reason and I needed someone to talk to. I called Beth but no one answered. Somewhere in there I called Jacqui. I tried to get a hold of Laura again but she didn’t answer. Then I got a hold of Beth but she said she couldn’t help me and directed me to Lorrell. Lorrell didn’t answer though. Then I got a hold of Chris and talked to him for a while. It helped a lot talking to him. Got me calm. Then we talked about going to Indy next Friday.
• Laura
  • I went over to Sabrina’s house and knocked on the door for a study session, then my phone rang. It was Laura. She told me about the surprise Stellastar* show she went to then I started talking about everything. I was still pretty resistant to the decision that she made, talking about how I wished we could try and work through the problems. But a while after I got off the phone I felt like she was right. The problems that we had were beyond our ability to overcome. It would never have worked out. Sad but true. Oh well.
• Study session
  • I showed up late to Panera, where we were actually supposed to meet, but everyone stuck around to hear my take on Marx, Morgan, Spencer, evolutionism, and alterity. They said everything was clearer for them after I went over some things, which is good. It made me feel good to talk about everything too. Love it.
• Vienna
  • I went here to do some studying instead of staying at Panera. I got some hot chocolate with a shot of mint and a cheesecake brownie. Felt a little sick after it was all consumed. Read about chimps while I was there. There was a crazy part about chimpanzees twisting the limbs of prisoners to dislocate them and drinking their blood. There was another part about this chimp Passion who killed a lot of baby chimps until she had her own baby.
• Exponent
  • I went into the office for a meeting and got some stories. One on Cerias and wireless security, and another the campus editor is going to help me with on date rape.
• Updates
  • I spent a lot of time reading Jim Norton and making updates.
• Taco Bell
  • Lorrell and I went to Taco Bell. I had a double decker taco supreme, my new found love.

• Reach out
  • I felt good enough to give Laura a ring to see how she was doing, but she was in Austin.
• Japanese
  • I woke up and wrote part of a skit then met up with some people on campus to see where we were at.
• Theory notes
  • After working on that I looked over my theory readings and made some notes for the upcoming paper.
• Dinner/nap
  • Can’t remember what I ate. Actually, I may not have eaten anything. I took a hot shower and I think it gave me a headache. So I took a nap instead of reading. I did make myself wake up to go see some drum n bass though.
• Purdue Beat Society
  • Their thing was in the south tower of the Purdue Memorial Union. You had to go up these narrow stairs to a great room for the event. Lights. Fog. Nice dance floor. Stage. And best of all — drum n bass. Jed and his friend showed up after a while. Then more people. Some girls that would dance for about a second at a time and a one of their friends who wouldn’t dance then left. Lots of glowstick action on, actually somewhat impressive. Great event overall. I was very impressed.
• Matchstick Men
  • I left the show to meet Yuliya and Kate at Layne’s house for a movie. We watched Matchstick Men and it was pretty great, even though the theme was a bit uncomfortable.
• Television Religion
  • When the movie was over they showed some of the Animatrix episodes on TV, then we watched some episodes of the Surreal Life. Crazy to see Jordan Knight, Dave Couliey (whatever), Flava Fav, Birgette Nielsen, Charo, and some American Idol girl interact. I was surprised to find that Layne and Kate are familiar with My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult. They made a comment about the white rabbit and it reminded me of a line from one of their songs.
  • I asked Kate about her alcohol preferences and she said that she likes to drink whiskey. Particularly Maker’s Mark. I think I might dabble in some Jack n Coke, which she also gave a nod too. My drinking decisions are guided by novelty, and I could tap into Artie Lang and Basic Instinct at the same time.

• Japanese homework
  • I did some Japanese homework then studied some kanji for a quiz.
• Japanese
  • My homework was denied (we hadn’t covered part of it in class yet). The kanji quiz went fine but I forgot an e on one so I probably only got 9 out of 10. We went over made ni. And something else. I forget.
• Preachers again
  • On the way to Stone from class the “You deserve hell” preachers were out again. I sat to watch and listen for a while then started talking to this guy about evolution. I schooled him on the fact that evolution does not mean we should be ok with people hurting others in a jungle style “survival of the fittest” situation. I then told him that he should be fair to evolution and not misrepresent it if he wants people to do the same to his religion. I also had to explain that through evolution life just tries to fill niches, not make something that is better. He tried to make some comment about how all of the Communists believed in evolution and I said that such a statement was as valid as discounting Christianity on the basis that most people in jail are Christian. He said they were really Christian, to which I responded that that was exactly my point!
  • We talked about gays at one point too, and while he was vocally against hurting them, he did say he thought they were dangerous on account of their disposition. I asked if he thought that living in a society that was so against them might have something to do with that, even if it were true, and he said no.
  • The guy, Dave, really stressed the difference between Christianity and religion. Whereas religion is this man made thing, where people try to get somewhere by doing something, in Christianity you depend on someone else greater than you. I tried to point out that it’s just the same in Pureland Buddhism, but he just skipped onto other points.
  • He stressed that America began as a Christian nation and said he thought it was getting worse, in terms of spirituality and morality, or what have you. I said that even granting the notion that America is a Christian nation, I doubt he is what the forefathers had in mind. He said he knew that, especially since he had been kicked off a radio station for six weeks because he was so radical.
  • He didn’t seem like a bad guy really. Just some different views. A farmer with conservative values trying to stay alive in the modern world. I’m sure it’s hard for people like him. I think this world sucks too.
• Beer religion
  • In the lab I asked this girl Tatiana if she was a drinker, and she said to talk to George, because she didn’t drink much. George said to talk to Mike. And they both said Mike would probably direct me to Nate. I told Tatiana that in this weird hierarchy I would be the nonbeliever. She would be a believer that doesn’t go to church. George would be a regular church goer. Mike would be a priest. And Nate would be a bishop.
  • Part of my reasoning behind this is that beerlievers (ha!) sometimes act as if your non-beerlief is an affront to their culture. This is tied into my decision to start drinking. It’s also tied into my new perspective on alcohol because of this article we read about a 3000 BC recipe for beer encoded in a hymn. It helped me not to see alcohol consumption as just a symbol of idiocy and misogyny, and tap into the ritual and spiritual side of alochol consumption, as well as the history of humankind.
• Chat with Beth
  • I told Beth how it’s hard to end conversations with her. I told her about my decision to start drinking and she said I was putting too much thought into it. I tried to explain that it’s just the way I am. I approach every issue in my life with the same amount of firepower, whether it’s the ethics of murder or which snackfood to buy.
• Read for prehistory
  • Pretty straight forward. Development of complex societies.
• Target
  • Groceries. $30. $10 more than usual. What did I get? A big carton of multi-colored goldfish for one. And some multi-grain bread. I am in love with this stuff now for some reason. Other typical stuff. Spinach. Generic frosted mini-wheats. Oh yes, some nutty bars and some pecan wheels. I had a pecan wheel after I got out of the store and it was the best one I’ve ever had, and not only because I was hungry. All of the others I have ever had have been pretty dry, and this one was moist.
• Brewery with Jennifer
  • Some people were supposed to meet up at 8, but when I arrived at 9 no one was to be found, so I made some calls. Jennifer was up for some drinking, so we went to the brewery. We talked for a long time. She had this crazy story about her brother. Apparently he convinced everyone he was schizophrenic a while back and they put him on various medications. He has been on lithium and thorazine. But then at one point he said that he had been faking it, stopped taking medication, and stopped exhibiting symptoms. She still isn’t sure if he was really faking it or not. She said she thinks that it was just a convenient way for him to check out for a few years without anything being expected of him. This, of course, is probably what influenced her to study the marketing of psychotropic medications.
  • I told Jennifer about the weird ways that I apply theory to my own life. For instance, I had been thinking about Marx’s notion of ideology, and this article we read about the way it is used to mask conflict. I then thought about this story I associated with my and Laura’s relationship. How we met. The things that we had in common. How long we’d been together. And how this story, this ideology, masked all the conflict that we had. She was amused.
  • True to my new found decision to bathe in the glory of the spirits, I tasted the beer that Jennifer was drinking and got a sample of my own. Jennifer was drinking the Oatmeal Stout, dark, and it was OK. I got some Whitetail Wheat, cloudy and light, which came with a lemon wedge, and it was a little better. Jennifer also got a Prophets Rock Pale Ale and I didn’t really like that one at all. It was a little bitter.

Boring days are nice, because there is less to write. Either way, I win!

• Anthro homework
  • I went to Stone and did some homework in the lounge. Lorrell told me a story about this time some white people came up to her and her friend and asked her if she knew who sang some dirty rap song. She thought it was racist.
• Classes
  • In Japanese the teacher called on me more than usual. There was an observer so maybe she was trying to call on the good students. I wonder what they say about me in their little TA chats. We went over to omou, tsumori, and yotei.
  • In prehistory we started off talking about the surpluses of agriculture led to ethnic division and stratification. We also talked a little about religion and I explained how I take Geertz’s slant, seeing it as culture. And that it was just a product of wrapping a narrative around their experience, as opposed to understanding it solely as a means of explanation, control, or escape. I brought up how ubiquitous symbols continue to be, like uniforms and flags.
  • Actually, in prehistory, we talked about the Atkins diet first. I brought up how corn syrup is in everything, and how Interstate Bakeries, the people that make Twinkies and Wonderbread, filed for bankruptcy.
  • Another prehistory comment. We read this article about ancient beer and it was funny that the teacher was dismissive of them finding beer by accident because it lacked human agency. I argued that the human agency was in noticing what happened and capitalizing on it. She had the same problem earlier when we talked about Beringia and the possibility that people just sort of wandered over following animals. Very interesting…
  • In bio we talked about different chimp patterns. It is interesting that there are so many differences among chimp species. I brought up how this ties into discussions of evolutionary psychology since the differences are thought to be attributable to ecology.
  • In theory we talked about Boas. Blanton comment on how dead everyone seemed to be. He understood when he figured out that it was Thursday and not Tuesday.
• Dinner
  • All the talk about agriculture in prehistory got me hungry for rice and lentils. My roommate said one of his friends is probably going to move in. Great.
• Vienna
  • Thursdays seem to be pretty boring. I studied some kanji then did some homework. It was lame. And I’m not entirely finished. I keep thinking about skipping homework and class. I’ve got the grades, right? We’ll see. I guess I should save my get out of jail free card for when I actually need it.
  • I sat in front of Beth for about five minutes sipping some water but she never looked up and didn’t see me. I saw her leave at 11:23 p.m. I don’t think she ever knew I was there.
  • I had a snickerdoodle cookie while I was there. Reminded me of SourceNet. I always used to look and see if they had snickerdoodles. Kind of like the flan when I was at Homecomings. Man, I need some flan.

• Stone
  • Just went to print some stuff out for an upcoming Japanese skit.
• UNGR Library
  • I met up with some kids from Japanese to work on a skit.
• Stone
  • Worked on some Japanese homework.
• Japanese
  • Our vocabulary quizzes are so hard because even if you know all of the words it takes so much time to read everything and figure out which words go where. In the back of the room someone was there with a camera. Maybe that is why class was so lively, the teacher performing and all. We are going over volitional forms. Watashi o korosou?
• Lunch
  • Went to lunch in the Union with Ted, Layne, and Lorrell. On the way I made a joke about how if I was a Mormon I would go by Elder Rado. Ted didn’t get it, but we later learned that it was only because he didn’t know Mormons used this particular title. I asked them about beer for a bit then there was silence. I told Ted and Lorrell that they were fucking boring today. Ted said he hurt his shoulder. Layne made a comment about me dating someone and I said that no, we weren’t together anymore. Curious though that this came up in conversation around him for him to even know or ask. We joked around about Ted not dumping his girlfriend because then he’d have nothing to complain about.
• Training
  • Rachel led me through my call training so I can start working finally. It was pretty simple. Best part is the flexibility as far as hours and when I work, and the pay is quite good. Rock on.
• Interview
  • I finally got a hold of Kim for my story, but the best material I got was from a student assistant there named Ashley. And Lorrell was trying to tell me the due date would sneak up on me. Pshht!
• Exponent
  • I went over to the Exponent and the managing editor looked over my story a few times then I was finished. It was pretty simple and didn’t take long. Maybe an hour or so invested, which is nice since I get about $10 for the story. I met the campus editor and the assistant editor and they really thanked me for writing the story. I was kind of surprised, but Charise the managing editor said that she had tried to give the story to three new writers before I got it. Apparently they were scared about finishing it in three days. Weird. Anyway, it was really fun sitting there with everyone writing my story. I really do enjoy writing. Even such a simple story. And I did have my eye on journalism in the past. I even looked at some graduate programs before. I’m glad I followed through with this. There was one witty line that I wrote about people “getting their hands dirty making things clean.”
• UNGR Library
  • Looked up some information and printed some stuff out. I’m being drawn more and more towards globalization as a tool to understand my question. In fact, there is a book out there, The Globalization of Sexuality, that might be pretty handy if indeed I can get my hands on it.
• Taco Bell
  • Someone was training so there was a long line and it was moving slow. I talked to my dad a bit and he asked his usual questions but it didn’t get me down this time.
• Vienna
  • I went over to Vienna with Lorrell and read while drinking Perriere. There’s this guy I’ve seen there several times that I’ve been wanting to talk to for a while. In fact I almost talked to him one of the first nights I was in town. As luck would have it, tonight he was playing Scrabble with some friends, one of my favorite games! I stopped by to see who was winning and he had a pretty good lead. I asked him about Boggle but he didn’t know the game, so I’ll have to bring it over sometime. I’m sure he’d enjoy it.
  • Lorrell was trying to decide whether or not to get something to eat, and I said, “You know you want it.” She glared at me and I chastised her for her hypocrisy, as Beth had just told a story a few days before about Lorrell making inappropriate comments, like, “You know you want it.” Lorrell said we had dirty minds and I had to remind her that SHE was the one who glared at ME!

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• Went to Stone
  • I gave Kim Martin a call for my Exponent story, but the number was for Kenneth Martin, so I went over and this guy gave me her email address. I stopped by the library and got Post Office by Charles Bukowski. They had to get it from the attic. So glad I thought to get it. Such great stuff. Looks like Google has some nifty new service with some book excerpts (see below).
  • I sent Kim an email before I left the library, and she wrote write back. Told I couldn’t meet with her today though. She seemed a little persnickety though. Not sure what’s up with that. Either way, it’s fun to meet strangers and ask them questions.
• Billionaires for Bush
  • On the way to Japanese some people from the Purdue Organization for Labor Equality and the Marxist Humanist Network were out dressed like, well, billionaires for Bush. It seems to have been part of a national thing. There were some Republicans nearby, but they were way boring. They just had shirts that sayd, “Don’t be an ass,” on the front, and they were asking if the “hippies” if they were even going to vote.
• Japanese
  • Yes oh yes. I got an 86.6 on my Japanese test! Very nice considering I thought I might have failed. Makes things a little bit easier all around and gives me a whole lot more confidence about the whole endeavor. We covered to omou.
• Anthro classes
  • In prehistory we had some enjoyable discussion about the relationship between agriculture, surplus, ethnic identity, and social stratification.
  • In bio we talked about convergence between “normal” scientists and conservation efforts for primates in the rain forests. Remis talked about how the gorillas she studied never habituated to her in the three years she was there. I asked if it hurt her feelings and she used some frank words to say that it did.
  • In theory we talked about Weber. I never really had an appreciation for his relationship to Marx and how much of an answer The Protestant Ethic was to Marx’s theory. One other interesting thing was thinking about the contrast between Weber’s “iron cage” and his comment that the America he saw in the early 1900′s was the greatest form of capitalism but could be better. In class we talked about how Weber argued for a very implicitly egalitarian capitalism, but on the grounds of reason.
• Dinner
  • I had my leftover parmesan chicken wrap from Scotty’s. Very good.
• Exponent meeting
  • Apparently the Exponent was made independent in an attempt by the university to have them go under, but it didn’t work.
• Vienna
  • After talking to my sister for an hour, I did some Japanese homework, then a little bit of reading. I told my sister about my Japanese class, she told me about making jelly, then we talked about my school future a bit. We got onto religion somehow, and I explained to her that I’m more concerned with what theists and atheists can find in common than what sets them apart.
• Home
  • I had intended to make an update and go to bed, but I got distracted. Nothing is ever short. I keep thinking about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I have extended moments where I feel perfectly fine. The only thing that hurts are the memories. There’s this one picture I put on my PDA with some others to show people when I was out and about of me and Laura in the car before one of the times that she went to the Bahamas. Whenever one of us left on long trips I always tried to have an extra long hug, because there was no telling if that would be the last time we saw each other. Funny, but serious. That’s my personality. Anyway, that picture keeps coming to mind for some reason. Our smiles. Yeah, I shouldn’t be doing this (this text) to myself. But I want to remember. Or do I? It doesn’t help that the pictures I have are of the good times. In the future I need to remember to take pictures of the bad times too. The bad times help make sense of this. And I think it does make sense. Luckily(?), I came here depressed, and so I made lots of effort to make friends and keep myself sane. If it weren’t for that… To those who have offered your concern, thank you. I also request that if you not ask me “how things are going” unless I bring up the subject. I am fine. I will be fine. There are still tons of things in this world that make me happy.

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I think it was my second day as a Christmas temp that this big woman came out and walked around with me as I delivered letters. What I mean by big was that her ass was big and her tits were big and that she was big in all the right places. She seemed a bit crazy but I kept looking at her body and I didn’t care.

She talked and talked and talked. Then it came out. Her husband was an officer on an island far away and she got lonely, you know, and lived in this little house in back all by herself.

“What little house?” I asked.

She wrote the address on a piece of paper.

“I’m lonely too,” I said, “I’ll come by and we’ll talk tonight.”

I was shacked but the shackjob was gone half the time, off somewhere, and I was lonely all right. I was lonely for that big ass standing beside me.

“All right,” she said, “see you tonight.”

She was a good one all right, she was a good lay but like all lays after the third or fourth night I began to lose interest and didn’t go back.

But I couldn’t help thinking, god, all these mailmen do is drop in their letters and get laid. This is the job for me, oh yes yes yes.