Synaxis TV

Here's a link to my first broadcast. And here are some of the links that I mentioned in the program.

Super Smart Radio Whore Sex Show
Agnostic & Atheist Student Group
Atheist Community of Austin
North Texas Church of Freethought
Freedom From Religion Foundation
American Atheists
Secular Humanist Society of Chicago
Purdue Online
TexAgs.com

I've been having this sensation for a while now. This mystical sense of connectedness. I've had it before but it's never lasted this long. It's been manifesting as a minor sensation of euphoria. The same tingly sensation I get in my body listening to certain songs has also manifested just telling people about it. Laura thinks I'm going mad. But I just think I'm happy. And I do feel connected to something greater than myself right now, through film, theory, friends, and even the Internet.

Just a moment ago I was admiring the beauty of the walls in my bathroom, then the towel hanging up on the wall. That is what inspired this. A pure sense of the beauty of the world. It's an awesome feeling, everything being beautiful. It's kind of like admiring a piece of art, then stepping into the frame and letting that piece of art form your entire world. I finally get that thing people say about looking at the beauty in the world and seeing God, only I don't make a separation between the world and the "divine."

I have often said that without some God "out there" this world becomes GOD. You, me, everything. This is pantheism of course. I don't see it as being incompatible with atheism. And I have always had a hankering for instrumental theism, where people use the word God but just as a sign to point to something here in this world.

The Church of the SubGenius has always been quite enjoyable for me, but I've never quite been able to disengage myself from Discordianism. Now I know why (at least for me). I figured it out when I told a friend that I am not able to pray. Then after I thought about it some I told her that actually I could pray, only it would have to be to something ironic, like Mickey Mouse. The Church of the SubGenius captures the irony part of things, but it doesn't supply that spiritual experience. That's what makes Discordianism different. It's the religion for people who have these experiences but have to find a suitably ironic context to couch them in, because they are real but they don't mean what most people in this world think they do. They're just natural experiences. Some have them, some don't. I do. They are what others might call "spiritual." I don't know what to call them. But it's there and I hope it sticks around for a while.

• Japanese
• Japanese was a little emptier than usual, though people started showing up late. Must be the cold weather keeping everyone indoors.
• Borders
• After downloading some podcasts at home I went over to Borders to wait for Chris. It is weird how different bookstores seem to me now. There isn't as much for me to read there now that I have more of an interest in not just non-fiction but academic literature. There was a new book by Neal Stephenson, Quicksilver, which looked good and made me wish I had time to read.
• I listened to the A Dirty Shame soundtrack and it had some of the hilarious songs from the movie, like the one about the sore and wet pussy (because the cat got stuck outside on the doorstep). I also listened to some of the new Interpol album and there was a definite Joy Division connection, but it didn't catch me.
• Habermas
• Chris and I walked to Habermas and got there about 10 minutes before the show. The place was huge and full. It was pretty amazing to see how many people were there. Not quite sure why they were there.
• Habermas was pretty difficult to understand but not impossible, and I did record it. I felt like a lot of what he was saying was important but I just didn't have enough of a context to make sense of it right then and there. It was basically a treatment of Kant's exploration of a cosmopolitan law, and he seemed to be calling on the United States to bring about the necessary structure of international law because the US is the only nation-state that has the power to do so. Though that is from my limited understanding.
• I was impressed with the questions after the lecture and they helped me to understand what Habermas was trying to get across. I was also impressed with Habermas' visible excitement about that on which he was speaking, which is refreshing when thinking about all of the years he has spent thinking about these matters. I also enjoyed the fact that he seems to have a sense of humor.
• Basil Thai
• Chris and I went to Basil Thai for dinner. The pad thai had a weird taste about it, but it was ok. Chris' curry tasted good, but there's no way I could have eaten it, it was so hot. He didn't consider it to be hot though.
• Vons
• We killed some time in Vons waiting to see what Lorrell was going to do, then she said they had just gotten pizza, so…
• Murky Waters
• Chris and I walked over to Lafayette to go to the Brewery. Chris found the city to be much nicer than he had expected it to be. We got to the Brewery but it was too full, so we stopped by Chumleys but it was too full as well, and we just ended up going to Murky Waters (at Chumley's some guy said to Chris, "What do you think of the badgers tomorrow? I've got your number buddy!"). The coffee at Murky Waters was quite good and quite cheap. I'll definately have to go there again. Chris found it to be quite enjoyable as well.
• Hookah
• We walked back from Lafayette over to Hookah and chose vanilla as our flavor. It was an interesting kind of taste, but I can't say that I'm drawn to it, though it wasn't as strange as I thought it would be sucking in the vanilla flavored smoke.
• We had a good time talking about what there is to do in W. Lafayette and Bloomington and how odd it was that we had found each other. I told him about my recent tingly feelings. Then I told him about how I had considered lessening my elitism to meet more normal people. Chris said he had had conversations with Nathan about my elitism and quickness to call someone a dumbass, haha… But then I told him that after talking to Shannon I just don't want to waste my time with normal people. So, I told him that I am on the search for members of my tribe and family of choice.
• I tried to call Lorrell several times but she never answered. Then late in the evening I did get a hold of her and she said she was coming but we never saw her. Oh well…
• Online Extravaganza

• Back at home we watched some flash movies then we watched the clip of Jon Stewart from Crossfire. Scathing! One of the most amazing things I've seen on television in sometime. I have a ton of respect for Mr. Stewart now. It was an incredible side of him to see.

• Homework
• I was able to finish reading and do my Japanese homework and study for the kanji quiz. I am a god.
• Classes
• In Japanese we learned that "tara" form to make if statements and conditionals.
• In prehistory I brought up the connections between Re and Osiris, and Judaism and Christianity, especially considering the connection between Osiris and Jesus, then I remembered the connection between the Sumerian religion and Judaism. After class Rotman talked to me about the debate the previous night and a lot of commentary surrounding Bush and Kerry's religious stances. I told her about the difference between religion in the south versus the north.
• In bio we talked about some of the pitfalls of just so evolutionary stories. Damn evolutionary psychologists.
• In theory we talked about Radcliffe-Brown. He's one of the people that looked at institutionalized humor as a way to ease tension but have it be incorporated into the system.
• Indy to see Brown Bunny
• Luckily Mark was up for going to Indy to see Brown Bunny with me. (I had sent an email to Shannon, but she said that in addition to school she has a full-time job now, and wants to devote her rare extra time to taking care of herself, so that's the end of that.) On the way he told me that before he really turned to academia he was a plumber. He told me a story about some gay friends who had no tools and were impressed with his handiness.
• We talked about religion some on the way and Mark said how different it is here compared to New England. I told him that just the same for me it is better here than it was in Texas. Apparently he ordered a big pack of Chick tracts because he found them so amusing.
• The movie had an interesting feel to it, some great cinematography, but the ending killed it. Chloe Sevigny seemed to be drawing on her character from Kids somehow. Good movie though. Definately worth the drive.
• Up Late

• I was really tired but I stayed up anyway wasting time.

• Japanese
• I got up to do my homework then noticed that we had a vocabulary quiz. Luckily we had gone over the words in class enough for it not to be that bad.
• Lunch with Lorrell and Ted
• Lorrell was eeked by my eating of moldy bread sans the spot where the mold was.
• Chat with Evelyn
• I talked to Evelyn about the Talented Mr. Ripley, which no one had mentioned at the viewing of the Celluloid Closet. We also talked about the Matrix briefly because she mentioned showing Bound which was also done by the Wachowski Brothers. I told her that lots of people saw Christian themes in it but that there were a lot of themes from Asian religions too.
• Then we talked about the Globalization of Sexuality book that I am looking at for my thesis. I'm going to produce a synopsis for her because she was interested in the text. We talked about Manalansan and his relation to human geography. I told her that I think globalization is important in considering how the Western discourse on sexuality arrived in Japan to begin with.
• Bipedalism search
• Instead of searching through indexes I just went to the journals themselves and searched there. It was easy breezy finding the resources I needed.
• Dinner
• Big dinner of rice and lentils. I told Laura about my tingly connectedness lately and she pondered if I am going crazy.
• Outline and Bibliography for Prehistory

• I was really tired but I figured I had enough strength to do the bibliography, so I did that. Then I was awake enough to do the outline. I was trying to figure out the time to sleep, read some bio articles, and do homework/study for Japanese. I read some of the articles then slept.

• Woke at 2 PM
• Worked on theory paper
• Kate's questions about Cody
• Kate had a lot of questions about Cody for some reason. Luckily I was healed enough for them not to hurt, though I wasn't able to answer most of them.
• Forgot Exponent meeting
• Oops. Even had it on my PDA. Oh well.
• Talked to Laura
• Laura got online and I felt like talking to her. I told her about life, school, and otherwise. She mentioned the Kinsey movie coming up, which was nice.
• Talked to Kate
• Kate told me about some kids she ran into in the neighborhood while on a walk. She had just earlier told me about a murder that had taken place in her neighborhood around the time that Laura and I had the fire and rape in our apartment complex. Anyway, the kids were trying to see who could touch the house because it is haunted. Kate tried to explain to the kids that it was a crime of passion and not random (haha!). Then the kids started asking her all these religious questions.
• I laughed at Kate for trying to explain something so complex to such young children, then she told me about this time she tried to explain the sun to a nephew. The nephew had asked why the solar lights weren't on, and she tried to use an analogy of a sailboat and the wind to explain that the lights charged during the day… What a crazy girl. I commented on the fact that I don't know how old kids have to be before they can use such an abstract concept as an analogy and she said she hadn't thought of that.
• It was also funny to hear Kate's three word directives to Miranda. One was, "Danger, hot, stove!" Another was, "Stinky, trashcan, ewww!," with a few more "ewwws" for emphasis. Miranda is really sensitive apparently, because she started crying. Kate said she said, "Ouch!," once when Miranda bit her, and Miranda started crying then too. Kate said that she thinks Miranda is so sensitive because she's a girl… Noooooooooo!
• Talked to Jacqui
• Jacqui told me about some Juvenile song that she likes and said that she thinks McD's gave her food poisoning, because that was the only place she ate at that made sense time-wise.
• Slept at 2 AM

• I thought about going to the store but I was too tired. It still took me a while to sleep though.

• Finally finished prehistory responses
• There was an interesting part about the move from the cold state religion of Re to the softer cult of Osiris. I thought it was interesting how it paralleled the move from Judaism to Christianity. Then I thought to take a look at the comparisons between Jesus and Osiris I thought I had seen about… There's a page that has an exerpt from this book that talks about how interchangable Jesus was with the other mystery religion's godmen, like Osiris and Dionysys, and even Mithras, which makes my insight that much more valid.
• Went to Stone
• I had planned on doing some work, but I couldn't find the key. So I just looked up information on bipedalism for an outline that is due soon. I hope I didn't lose the key.
• Went to Brothers with Bev and Katja
• I ran into Katja while I was in the lab and she mentioned going out for drinks. We met in front of Where Else? and tried to think of places to go then decided on Brothers next door. It was quite empty but I had a good time. And the Leinenkugel we had was not so bad. We had two pitchers.
• When I mentioned National Novel Writing Month Bev said that she wrote a book when she was around 12 or 13. Very bizarre. Apparently she wanted to be a writer. But she decided to take the safe route of being a veterinarian.
• Bev also expressed interest in the Erotic Arts Ball, so that's cool. At one point she did mention that she has had issues with chronic masturbation. Once she went on a lunch break and had to finish herself off five or six times before she could stop, even though she was hungry. She talked about coming back from lunch late and talking about the long lines even though her stomach was grumbling.
• We also got into a discussion at one point about truth and culture when I explained that morality reduces to pleasure and displeasure. Katja tried to say that there are truths out there, like gravity. I tried to point out, however, that interest in the "truth" of gravity is still culturally mitigated. Yes, there is gravity, but why do we care? And the answer to that question reveals a specific cultural context and perspective, especially when it is referred to as a "law.
I wish I had mentioned that even gravity is contingent and may cease to exist at some point or not exist in alternative universes.
• Went to Bev's with Katja

• After drinks Bev made some Amish eggs and heated up some refried beans for us to eat with tortillas. It was quite nice, especially since I had just mentioned how I hadn't had eggs in a long time earlier in the evening. Katja went to the other room and Bev said she'd been acting odd all day, probably because they had just broken up the night before, for good!

  

• Woke late
• Discovered podcasting
  • In my doodling around I came across an article in Wired about podcasting. It's basically a combination of mp3s and RSS, but I find it incredibly fascinating. A new door has been opened up. And now I want an iPod.
• I listened to Engadget's feed then Adam Curry's feed. There are lots of different podcast feeds at iPodder. But the feed that I enjoyed most was a Audiherz.net. The guy that runs that site works for radio, so his feed was pretty polished. What I liked best about it though was the music, which was excellent. He played a song by Pretty Girls Make Graves and I think they are my favorite band now. There was also a good song by Muse. Anyway… I'm excited. I'll probably get a copy of Total Recorder and start recording some of the BBC shows to carry around with me.
• Paper meetup at Vienna
• I explained Marx, Weber, and Boas to George and Yuliya. I tried to explain to them that the best place to start for the paper is Blanton's notes.
• Chat with Beth
• After George and Yuliya left I sat with Beth outside, then we went back inside when it got too cold. I never realized how distractable she is. We got into another book chat and I added some titles to my favorites list. For some reason we never fleshed out the fact that the Grapes of Wrath is a favorite for the both of us.
• Beth variously commented on what people were saying or wearing. She noticed at one point that three women had come in wearing denim tops and bottoms. It was surprising to think that she had come to the coffee shop because of how little work she was doing at home. She said she gets caught up reading fiction a lot. It made me glad that I've gained the ability to channel an a-type personality and that my work and hobbies have such extensive crossover.
• Beth did tell me about her thesis while we were there too. It was about activism and memory. It's an interesting project to be conducted in the discipline of sociology. I wonder if it would be better conducted elsewhere, but then again her sole concern is with activism.
• Parthenon
• I convinced Beth to take a food break with me at 9 p.m. I couldn't believe how quickly it had gotten so late. My physical and mental hunger had met up with each other. We were going to go to Subway but it was closed. Basil Thai was closed to. So we had Greek food at the Parthenon. I got some chicken, spanokopita, and some beans.
• While there Beth mentioned Said and Orientalism. I said that I hadn't read it yet then showed her where I had marked his death in my fieldnotes on September 25, 2003. I also showed her how I was making a table of contents in the front and an index in the back, to help me find stuff. She noted my intensity but I tried to convince her that I'm really laid back.
• Home

• I finally talked to Kate and showed her the entries about my breakup with Laura. She was pretty surprised because she had thought that Laura accentuated me. But this was not the case. Kate said that I'm an amazing person and that she wishes I could be around more. I didn't tell her but I think I'm amazing too. Only Laura never said anything to that extent to me nor made me feel that way, which I always found odd. Oh well.

• Globalization
• I read this article that Chris sent me a link to about globalization. Kellner talked about the applicability of existing modernist interpretations and the elision between postmodernity and globalization. His perspective is always so helpful.
• Updates
• Work (for an hour)
• Talked to Larisa
  • So Larisa called and we chatted for a bit. I asked how long she'd be in Chicago and she said she imagined she'd be there for a while. I asked what she was doing there and she said going to school. I asked where she was going to school at and she said the University of Chicago. Whoa!
  • Larisa was probably more excited than I ever remember her being. She said that thinking about our conversations reminded her about why she found academia interesting, that I would give life to theory by applying it to the everyday.
• I'd been happy about visiting Ann in Chicago, but it looks like she is going to be in Nepal for a while, so this is an added surprise. Bright glowing icing on the donut of life.
• UNGR
• At the library I read some articles for theory, but they didn't apply to the paper I have to write. Before leaving I checked out Koyaanisqatsi. I'd heard of it in connection to Philip Glass, who did the music for it.
• Home
• I ate then started to watch the DVD but decided it'd be best to watch it at Vienna.
• Vienna

• "The asian guy" was at Vienna and he was interested in a game of Boggle, but he had to leave. Someone asked what Boggle was and he said, "It's a homoerotic game. It's what fags do on Saturday nights." Mmmhmm…

  

There was an article in the NY Times recently about prayer and healing. It talks about some of the major experiments that have been done and the problems that have emerged with them. But there was one part that stuck out for me:

Another problem concerns the mechanism by which prayer might be supposed to work. Some researchers contend that prayer's effects – if they exist – have little to do with religion or the existence of God. Instead of divine intervention, they propose things like "subtle energies," "mind-to-mind communication" or "extra dimensions of space-time" – concepts that many scientists dismiss as nonsense.

One of the problems I have with the miracle of the resurrection as proof that Jesus was God is that, whether or not it really happened, why should I accept that there is a relationship between resurrection and divinity? Just the same, the above quote, whether it is true or not, highlights the same parallel idea. If prayer does heal does that also mean we should accept the claimed mechanism by which it works? Of course not. Even if prayer does heal that doesn't mean there is a God. I would be much more prone to accept dimensional explanations, especially since the 10-dimension model of the universe seems to be picking up steam.