- Woke late
- I got a nice long sleep. Maybe about 12 hours?
- Went to the lab
- Had the intentions of putting in a hard day’s work. Petered out a little sooner than expected though. Motivation was lacking among other distractions like money fears.
- Stranger would have voted for Bush
- This girl that I’ve been talking to said we only ever discuss sexuality so I brought up the previous election. She wasn’t clear on some of the deadlines for her absentee ballot, so she never actual voted. Though I guess now thinking about it it wouldn’t have mattered since I don’t know if they open those up unless it is very close. Anyway I jokingly said that it was funny she didn’t vote in the most important election there will likely ever be in her lifetime. She asked what was so important about it and I started to say something but then said that I was possibly assuming some things. Then I asked who she would have voted for and she said…Bush. I wasn’t quite sure how to take it. I’m still not sure how to take it. I told her I’d have to think about what this meant to me.
- Time management
- Ironically I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how much paid work I can do and still get my school work done.
- Called my sister in tears
- I’ve been feeling pretty bad for a while and the many stressors, money, school, work, finally got to me I guess. I called my sister in tears and told her I didn’t feel good, that I was lonely. I told her that I had made friends and everything but that things had disintegrated for various reasons. I said that a lot of it had to do with Halloween and the Erotic Arts Ball. Having certain people not want to hear my story kind of hurt. And it reified this division between myself and the Normals, only a little bit closer to home.
- In tears I told my sister that I had been wishing I could just be normal. She told me that that was a terrible thing to say, and it is. I’ve never really felt this way before now. It’s something about this town and its lack of members of my tribe. I told Jacqui that even though there are a bunch of atheists here even they haven’t had the same experiences I’ve had so we don’t necessarily have that to share.
- We talked about other things after that and I felt a lot better. It was really good to talk to my sister. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I’m so glad that she turned out the way that she did. I’m so glad that we are able to be such close friends. And I’m so proud of the hard work she has put into school. She’s a lot further along than I ever was at her age.
Daily Journal Entry
November 20th, 2004 Comments Off
Daily Journal Entry
November 19th, 2004 Comments Off
- Japanese
- After Japanese I went with Williams-san to make copies. He’s hip to Blue Velvet and even Eraserhead, so I suggested he watch Gummo and Pink Flamingos.
- Loan paperwork
- I received this paperwork about a month ago but I hate doing paperwork so I kept putting it off. This however kept the school from receiving my loan money and they finally sent notice for me to just pay outright. So I finally got around to doing it and it basically consisted of me signing the fucking sheet. Great. I’m such an idiot. Hopefully nothing is screwed up because of my stupidity.
- Bank account
- I went to Bank One and set up an account so I can cash the random checks I get and actually be able to get money from an ATM without fees. The woman Brandi who helped me moved here from Indy after ending a 12 year relationship. She was only a year older than me but I wouldn’t necessarily have guessed that. It was weird to find someone else going through some of the same things I am and around the same age.
- Groceries
- I always end up going down the aisles at least more than once looking for stuff that I either remember once they’ve been past or can’t find after successive searches. I don’t think I got anything special other than a comb and some hair gel. I got some pears too and the one I had was so extremely good.
- Lab
- After taking things home and having a bite I went to the lab to slug away at my paid work. Basically I’m just going through people’s open ended responses and assigning the first applicable code. Unfortunately it’s taking a lot longer than was projected, and to maintain any reasonable rate I have to focus quite a bit…
Daily Journal Entry
November 18th, 2004 Comments Off
- Woke early
- I got up after about four hours of sleep or so.
- Various homeworks and studying
- I finished my prehistory homework, bioanth homework, then studied for a kanji quiz.
- Classes
- Japanese…
- In prehistory we talked about Peruvian sex pots.
- In bioanth we talked about the grandmothering hypothesis where women lived longer and helped to make sure babies got the extra nutrients they needed for their big ol’ brains.
- Talked to Laura
- We talked about figuring out what to do with regards to the phone. She asked how I was doing and I told her about the Pixies, Tarnation, and Brite Eyes. She said her grandparents were coming for Thanksgiving and that her aunt Cheryl has breast cancer.
- Roommate told me about cutting himself
- While I was doing paid work my roommate came to my door drunk and told me about the night before when he had asked to borrow a sharp knife. I guess he used it to cut himself because his girlfriend wasn’t showing enough emotion. Then he showed me some crazy lyrics he wrote about killing people or some such.
- He also said that he would have enough money for the electricity bill and some other stuff but not rent. The $10,000 he got from when his mom passed away a year and 10 months ago is gone so now he has to get a job. He said that he was making over $50k/yr when he was dealing…
- Up so late – why?
- Not sure what I was doing but I was up super late in spite of the small amount of sleep I had gotten. Maybe it was the caffiene… But I didn’t feel all that tired.
Daily Journal Entry
November 17th, 2004 § 1
- Skipped Japanese again
- Picked up Randy
- Drove to Chicago
- The drive to Chicago wasn’t so bad. I went on 94 this time instead of taking the tollway. On the way there we passed Randy’s hometown, Merriville. He said that there were a lot of jerks in High School so he likes it better in West Lafayette, which he does geniuninely like. He’s already familiar with the shock that comes with that view.
- We stopped in Dinwiddie for some eats at McD’s. I think it is the coolest motherfucking town that I have ever been to. It is now my most favorite town in the whole entire world. I want to live there like nothing else. I wonder if I will ever get my wish. By the way, I also got cheese puffs.
- Wasted time at Borders
- We didn’t see a line in front of Aragon, so we went to a Borders nearby. We had a fun time getting a token for the bathroom (the both of us sneaked in on one token!) then I looked at some books (Human Stain looks good but that Charlotte book by Tom Wolfe doesn’t) and did some studying.
- Read while waiting in line
- At five we went over and found that there was a line, it was just in the alley. Luckily it wasn’t that long yet. Then I discovered that it wasn’t five, but four, because we were in CST. Weird stuff. After I finished the chapter for prehistory I tried to get online with my Pocket PC but the connection was too flakey so I just played solitaire. We got some free Monster energy drink while we were out there. It tasted like apple Now & Laters.
- Read during Urge Overkill
- We finally got into the venue and I got online for a bit with the connection that was now steady but it disappeared at some point so I started reading. I read through Urge Overkill’s set too.
- Cried for the Pixies
- The Pixies were so unbelievably good. I’ve always thought people who cry at concerts are kind of retarded, but there I was bawling to some of the songs. The main songs I cried to were Gouge Away and Where Is My Mind at the beginning, then Chained later on. Not sure what the connection is. Joey did this crazy Merzbow thing with his guitar at the end and then they were gone. Poof.
- Clarkes
- We drove around for a bit after the show looking for a place to eat. Tried to go to a Chipotle but it was closed. Tried to go to this IHOP I went to once but couldn’t find it. Ended up at Clarkes because I knew where that was at least. Then Virulent and Josette came in with their friend Sarah and I had them sit with us. It took a while for Josette to figure out that we were all POL folk. Pretty crazy none the less.
- The girl Sarah with them asked this million dollar question. If you could go to the near present or future and make out with yourself, would you? I’m not sure. And on some level it is similar to masturbation.
- Went to Michigan
- On the way home I missed the turn off from 94 to 65 so I drove to Michigan. Yay!
Daily Journal Entry
November 16th, 2004 Comments Off
- Skipped Japanese
- I skipped Japanese to work on some stuff for prehistory and bioanth. Unfortunately the prehistory stuff took forever and I only got to glance at the bioanth stuff.
- Classes
- In prehistory I led the discussion on a paper arguing for a dual-processual approach in criticism of neoevolutionary theory and another paper looking at agricultural developments in Mesoamerica. The former paper had several interesting points, like highlighting symbolic power and ideology functioning in non-hegemonic ways, and emphasizing symbolic power in addition to objective forms of power. The latter paper highlighted the symbiotic relationship between humans and maize, which was a “third choice” food. Good times.
- In bioanth I tried to participate.
- In theory I had lots of fun talking about Marvin Harris then George gave an example of Marshall Sahlins’ work. Yuliya said we did a good job.
- Dinner with Mark
- Burgers and fries at Pappys. Somehow nipples creeped into the conversation.
- Oedipus Presentation
- This guy who said things like, “is is is” or “what what what” over and over again in a quick manner of speech talked about a view of myth as a competitor with science versus myth as a window into the unconscious. He had a very Woody Allen air about him and he led off his presentation with several bad jokes. For instance, he made a comment at the beginning about being turned in by his colleagues because they heard his class had some “sleepers.” He made a bunch of jabs at the guy who was presenting with him too. Very strange but also very entertaining.
- Up late doing nothing
- The presentation lasted quite a while but I hadn’t felt like doing anything anyway. I spent some time on the computer and on the phone while half-heartedly trying to read and eventually gave up and went to bed.
Daily Journal Entry
November 15th, 2004 Comments Off
- Early Bird
- I got to Stone pretty early and did some work on my paper. They had some type of breakfast food that reminded me of flan in the cafe. But really it tasted like baked eggnog.
- Japanese
- We learned an interesting structure. Untenmenkyoshou wa biru o nomu tame ni no mono desu. = Drivers licenses are things for the purpose of drinking beer.
- Work stuff
- I helped to lead someone through working on the stuff I am but I think I did it too fast. Though I thought he had some familiarity.
- Paper
- Work work work. Things coming into place. Linguistic section done, physical to go.
- Dinner
- Lentils and some bread.
- Wal-Mart
- I decided that I need to get some Dickies. So I went to Wal-Mart. And they were cheap. They had other cheap stuff that I needed too. But as I stood there with the pants I wanted in my hands I started to feel sick. So I left…
- Meijer
- Luckily Meijer had the same pants. They were a couple of dollars more, but it was worth it. I also replaced my hood and gloves. I got an ice scraper and considered an umbrella but figured I’d wait until it rained. When I got outside the ground was wet because it had just rained.
- One of the most important items I got at Meijer was orange juice. I had had a dream during the night about being really thirsty and trying to drink orange juice but I couldn’t swallow it.
- Paper
- Back to Stone and I worked on my paper, eventually reaching a stopping point.
- Vienna
- I stopped by the library to copy an article but found that I could just get it online. Then I went to Vienna and read there. That asian guy was there and I eventually learned that his name is Chen and he’s a junior interested in studying math.
Daily Journal Entry
November 14th, 2004 Comments Off
- Cry time
- I finally set up my Linux server to see if it was ok and it was. I saw some pictures of Laura and I from Monterrey and it made me sad so I cried a bit and wished that I could be normal…
- Jacqui’s Horror Story
- At Stone I talked to my sister and she told me about the crappy week she had. She was on her way to a test and a cop stopped her on her bike for not stopping at a stop sign. Then the cop misunderstood my sister’s name but my sister, flustered, agreed and spelled out Ramirez instead of Romero. The cop eventually figured it out and my sister tried to deny that she’d given the wrong name but she had spelled it out. So, my sister went to jail for failing to provide proper identification.
- Harris/Sahlins Prep
- George came to Stone and we went over the material we are going to talk about. Unfortunately for him, Sahlins is pretty dense, and he had to use a dictionary while reading his work. I read another part of his book, though, and got a much clearer idea of where he was coming from. But it took a while to get everything gelled away.
- Papertime
- I finally got through the archaeology section of my paper and decided to take a break.
- Taco Bell
- I hadn’t eaten all day so I got a burrito supreme and a double decker taco supreme.
Daily Journal Entry
November 13th, 2004 Comments Off
- Stood up again
- I did some reading for the presentation on Tuesday while waiting for Shannon to call. She was supposed to get off at 3 so I took a shower, but nothing. I waited a while more, but nothing. Looked for email, called her house, nothing. So eventually I just went to campus and spent the night working.
- Jakes
- On the way home I decided to stop by Jakes. I was nervous going in and when I got through the doors it was like entering some wild party. I stood at the side of the bar forever to get my first (expensive!) Heineken (wasn’t so bad).
- There were drunk people everywhere, of course. And while I was waiting there at the bar I saw so many shots of Jagermeister go by. I got through the crowd and found an empty space in the back. I learned not to smile at everyone, especially guys, that passed by.
- Later on some people near me were going to take a picture and I offered to take it for them so everyone could be in the frame. I asked if it was a memorable moment and the girl I talked to said no. I told her that it would be now, of course, and that I was having my own memorable moment drinking my first Heineken. I asked if she was from here and she explained but I didn’t hear/understand. She asked where I was and I said, “As you can probably tell from my accent, I’m from Texas,” but she didn’t get it. Then they left.
- I talked to some other guy and asked if he was there every weekend. He said he was from Fort Wayne and that he liked it better there because they had a dance floor. Ok?
Daily Journal Entry
November 12th, 2004 Comments Off
- Woke late
- I almost got up at 10 then 11 but eventually got up at noon and rushed to class.
- Japanese
- Got readings from Blanton
- Presentation on Tuesday. Representing Marvin Harris against Marshall Sahlins (played by George).
- Signed my timecard with Stahura
- Wasted time at home
- Small oil change place
- I got there later than intended so they didn’t have time to do me before closing.
- Firestone
- I had a coupon so I went ahead and went here.
- Rocky and Chariots of Fire Nostalgia
- I talked to Bev to see what was going on and she mentioned a hard workout. I brought up Rocky and we laughed about how we were able to wrap that around her experience. Then we talked about Chariots of Fire, which we both have not seen or really even know what it’s about. I mentioned something about religion being replaced by pop culture.
- Hooters
- I didn’t enjoy my last experience at Hooters (it kind of weirds me out) but it was nearby and I enjoy putting myself in awkward situations. I got fries and wings and studied while eating. My waitress seemed to be an honestly nice person, so I actually had a positive experience. She said one of the girls liked my Backstreet Boys t-shirt.
- Myrdene’s
- After stopping by home I went to Myrdene’s party. It was a fun time. I met Katja’s new girlfriend who is pretty cool. Christoph, one of my midnight buddies, was there and kept making me laugh at some of his absurd comments. Too bad there aren’t more soc people like him. He assured us later in the evening that he had not been a cabana boy when he was in Mexico, even though he didn’t wear underwear with his shorts (they had that mesh thing — he showed us).
- I had my first Budweiser, the King of Beers, and it wasn’t that bad.
- Clara said she likes old movies. Later we talked about noticing patterns. I wonder what it’s like inside her head. I think she’s got it worse than me. We talked about dance music at one point and I gave her my theory about the soothing nature of the beat and its relation to the heartbeat when we are still in the womb.
- Steak and Shake
- After Myrdene’s Bev and I went on a quest. We stopped by Krispy Kreme but the sign on the door lied and it was closed inside. Then we stopped at the new IHOP but they aren’t open yet. I considered Denny’s but chose to continue searching and we ended up going to Steak and Shake. I had just gone the past tuesday, but this was a different one so it was ok.
- While there we shared a fudge brownie sundae and some onion rings. They went quite well together. She also told me some crazy stories about the politics and what not surrounding some of the lesbian communities in Oregon.
Daily Journal Entry
November 11th, 2004 Comments Off
- Finished Paper
- After a nights rest the paper went pretty well. Finished it quite quickly and it was better than I thought it would be.
- Skipped Japanese
- Classes
- In prehistory we continued talking about Mesoamerica. One of the subjects that came up was the game of the death that the Aztecs played.
- Remis was sick so we didn’t have bioanth. I talked to some classmates for a bit then used the rest of the time to dilly dally in the lab.
- In theory we talked about kooky ol’ Marshall Sahlins who said that black folk eat the insides of animals because they can break the incest taboo? Something got lost in the presentation.
- Stood up
- I was so very excited and looking forward to seeing Boondock Saints with a friend. But I waited and she didn’t show up. And when I called it went straight to voicemail. I checked online but she wasn’t there either and there were no messages. I had already missed the bus so I either took the trolley home or walked then maybe came back to school and did some work. Or maybe I stayed at home and was mopey. I think I was mopey for a bit then came to school with a plethora of sighs.
- Actually, I remember now. I stopped by a gas station and got some Oreos and milk then went to the lab. But when I got there I ended up talking to this random person Leah who messaged me the other day out of the blue from my Friendster account. We ended up talking for about two hours. She’s a “good” Catholic girl.
I had mentioned S&M at one point, and she said she thought it was sick. Though she later said it could be ok as part of foreplay. I then hesitatingly broached the subject of anal sex, but she said she had already done that, several times, much to my surprise.